All You Need Is Love-Putting Romance Into Your Sex Life

February is the month of love and romance. Wouldn’t it be nice to jump start your love life and put some fun and fantasy back into your relationship with your significant other? Let me give you a few suggestions that may just light the fire of your partner.

Exercise. Aerobic workouts (running, biking, swimming) not only improve blood flow to the tissues “down there” for both men and women but can also boost your mood, pumping up “feel good” brain chemicals called endorphins. Exercise also has the benefit of increasing the testosterone level for both men and women about one hour after working out and will have a natural way of increasing your libido or sex drive.

Stress. Stress is anti-erotic. Too much stress increases the stress hormone cortisol, which causes testosterone to plummet. Stress relief can be obtained in just 15 minutes a day, whether through meditation, yoga, chilling to music, or just lay down and get your legs up and take the weight off of your shoulders.

Try something different. Recent research shows that partaking in new and challenging experiences with your partner can boost the brain chemical dopamine, which helps fuel sex drive. Try watching an erotic video or a sex toy. I recommend for some very sophisticated erotica.

Consider supplements. Ginkgo biloba has been used to treat sexual dysfunction, although the evidence for benefit is very weak. Still, it’s relatively safe (just don’t take it if you’re on a blood thinner), and the placebo effect may be enough to put you in the mood.

Take a deep breath. Certain scents are known to be attractive to women. Humans have a complex sense of smell. Certain scents have the effect of making a person hungry, tired, relaxed, happy and sometimes, turned on. Aromatherapy has been used for over 5000 years as a healing art and is still widely practiced in the Far East. Certain scents have been used for lovers for almost as long. In fact, scents are mentioned in the Kama Sutra as part of the art of seduction. You can uses these in baths, in a diffuser, or added to massage oil for extra intimacy. Some of these erotic scents include basil, cedarwood, frankincense, ginger, lavender, lime, orange, lime and rose.

Alcohol, just enough to turn on but not so much to turn off. One alcoholic drink can lubricate a nervous first-date situation. By reducing anxiety one drink can help get you in the mood. Remember, that too much booze can be a depressant and dampen the moment of intimacy and can even make it difficult for a man to obtain an erection.

Stop Smoking. It’s well known that smoking can have a terrible affect on blood flow to the sexual organs as it causes the blood vessels to narrow. It also saps your stamina and most people don’t like kissing cigarette breath.

Massage. Massage techniques can do wonders for sexual arousal particularly if you’re stressed, worried or angry. Prepare the room with soft lighting and soothing music then start with a back massage.

Bottom Line: Loss of libido is just one aspect of male and female sexual dysfunction. This Valentine’s Day make a commitment to bring Cupid into your sex life. Get out of your comfort zone and try something new and put a little romance into your relationship with that special someone.

Dr. Neil Baum is a physician at Touro Infirmary and the author of What’s Going On Down There-The Complete Guide To Women’s Pelvic Health. Available from

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