Today is Valentine’s Day, the day that couples think about love and intimacy. However, there are relationships where love and affection have left the bedroom. There are many culprits that can affect intimacy between a man and a woman.
Medications
There are literally hundreds of medications that can impact a man or a woman’s sex life. Medications that are prescribed for stroke and heart issues can have devastating effects on sexual functioning. In addition, researchers have found that a family of antidepressants known as selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) can take the wind right out of your sexual sails. These drugs include Prozac, Zoloft and Paxil.
Doctors can often reduce the dosage of these offending drugs or can change to another drug that can accomplish the same result without the sexual side effects.
Chronic Pain
People of both sexes can develop pain disorders as they get older, and that can have a big effect on sexuality. Arthritis and chronic back pain are just two examples. Those who suffer from chronic pain are advised to find the time of day when pain is at a minimum to engage in sexual intimacy. Also, those who suffer from chronic pain may need to take a pain pill before attempting to have sex. There are positions such as side by side that actually put the least amount of stress on your joints and your back and may make it possible to have successful intimacy.
Sex does not always equal intercourse. There are many successful relationships that do not have penis-vaginal intercourse. However, these people are able to engage in intimacy by sensual touching, massage and mutual masturbation.
Make Time for Rest and Play
The National Sleep Foundation recommends getting seven to eight hours of shut-eye a night. But with the stress of work, kids, bills and, oh yeah, your marriage, who can think about fitting in time to have sex, much less sleep? Still, you have to do your best to get a healthy amount of sleep.
Cupid likes to be included on regular dates. Plan some sex dates around times that you know you feel more energetic. You plan other things in your life and you don’t complain about it. You can do the same with sex.
Menopause and Testosterone Deficiency
Menopause and the accompanying decrease in sex drive and the appearance of vaginal dryness can wreak havoc on your sex life. Menopause results from a decrease in estrogens. The solution is as simple as applying a vaginal cream or a lubricant such as K-Y jelly or estrogens, which can be administered by a pill, a patch, topical gels, or a vaginal ring.
If you aren’t in the mood, you may be suffering from testosterone deficiency. This applies to women as well as men. Women also make low doses of testosterone and if the hormone is deficient, women may not be in the mood for sexual intimacy. The application of a topical gel or the insertion of a small pellet under the skin may quickly solve the problem of a lack of sex drive.
Bottom Line: Valentine’s Day is just one day a year. However, Cupid can be your best friend the other 364 days of the year. Try a few of these ideas to bring Cupid back into your bedroom. It’s the best threesome in the world!
This article appeared in the February 2014 issue of Health & Fitness Magazine
Dr. Neil Baum's Urology Blog 