Posts Tagged ‘intimacy’

50 Shades of Sex In the Golden Years

February 24, 2015

So many seniors think that after sixty sexual intimacy goes into the tank. This is hardly the case as an interest in intimacy and sexual activity continues throughout life even in the golden years. Our society tends to have ageist concept of intimacy, portraying sex among seniors as inappropriate or unnatural. The truth is that many seniors, both men and women, continue to be sexually active and are interested in meeting others with whom they can become intimate. There is documentation that 70% of men and 35% of women continue to be sexually active over the age of 70. This blog will discuss sex and the senior and what you can do if you are having problems with sexual intimacy in your senior years.

While most long-married individuals reported steady declines in sexual activity, those who passed the 50-year marriage mark began to report a slight increase in their sex lives.

And notably, frequency in the sex lives of long-married couples continued to improve. The study, published last month in The Archives of Sexual Behavior, researchers noted that an individual married for 50 years will have somewhat less sex than an individual married for 65 years.

The analysis of this study showed that the warm glow after the 50-year marriage mark, although flickering, was steadier than that of those in marriages of shorter duration. The researchers are sociologists at Louisiana State University, Florida State University and Baylor University.

Sexual frequency doesn’t return to two to three times a month, but it moves in that direction, which was reported by the investigator from LSU.

But the finding that some long-married couples continue to have sex decade after decade was not news to Jennie B., an 82-year-old widow who lives in a village in upstate New York. She married her first and only husband, Peter, in 1956, when they were in their mid-twenties. The couple, married 47 years, remained sexually active until he had quintuple heart bypass surgery two years before his death in 2003.

In this snapshot study of older adults, some were not having sex at all. And a few were even having sex daily. But in the main, the study looked at trends. The average older adult who had been married for a year had a 65 percent chance of having sex two to three times a month or more. At 25 years of marriage, the likelihood of that frequency dropped to 40 percent. If the marriage lasted 50 years, the likelihood was 35 percent. But if the marriage — and the lifespan — of the older adults continued, at 65 years of being together, the chance of having sex with that frequency was 42 percent.

And so, as adults age, their social circles shrink, they know time is limited, they look around and what do they see? Each other. Seniors will often place intimacy as a high priority.

I might add that seniors often engage in intimacy without having intercourse but that intimacy can occur with touching, holding hands and kissing is often just as satisfying and gratifying as sexual intercourse which occurs at an earlier age.

Bottom Line: Sex after sixty is an activity that is normal and should be encouraged. It may take a little creativity and it may take a little more planning and effort but it can happen and both partners feel a sense of enjoyment and pleasure.

Recommended Reading 30 Lessons for Loving, by Karl Pillemer, PhD.

Perhaps even 50 Shades of Grey!

Getting It On and Having More Fun and Enjoyment In the Bedroom

September 29, 2012

Sex and intimacy is something not to be taken for granted. A wholesome sex life requires work and attention like a healthy diet, exercise, and a positve mental attidude.
In order to have a maximum enjoyment from sexual intimacy with your partner, I suggest you consider the following:

Avoid excessive alcohol. Drinking too much blunts sexual responsiveness. Shakespeare said it so well, “Alcohol may increase the desire, but decrease the performance.” Want to be powerful in the sack, deep six the sauce!

Don’t smoke. Cigarette smoking restricts blood flow throughout your body and especially to a women’s pelvis and a man’s penis. Less blood reaches your sexual organs, which means you could experience decreased sexual arousal and orgasmic response. If you are looking for a reason to part with puffers, your sex life could be the ultimate motivator.

Be physically active. Regular aerobic exercise increases your stamina, improves your body image and elevates your mood. This can help you feel more romantic, more often. Get your heart rate up and get your erections and orgasms up as well

Make time for leisure and relaxation. Learn ways to decrease stress, and allow yourself to relax amid the stresses of your daily life. Being relaxed can enhance your ability to focus on your sexual experiences and may help you attain more satisfying arousal and orgasm.

Bottom Line: Sex and intimacy are not necessary natural and forever. Sex takes time, patience, and a healthy life style. So be healthy, be active and, yes, be sexy!

Kiss Like A Movie Star And Avoid Kissing Mistakes

October 23, 2011

A kiss is more than touching your lips against those of another human being. A kiss can express sentiments of love, passion, affection, respect, greeting, friendship, and good luck, among many others. Whether it’s your first kiss with someone new or your lifetime partner, kissing usually leaves an impression — one that lingers long after your lips have locked.
Michael Christian, author of The Art of Kissing says that “The more that people kiss, the more they’re able to communicate on a romantic level.”
Most of us have clear preferences — turn-ons and turn offs — when it comes to kissing styles. For both sexes, the No. 1 kissing complaint is lack of variety, Christian says. He recommends kissing the different parts of your partner’s face and paying special attention to the ears and neck. He suggests biting softly on the lower lip and nibbling gently on the earlobe.

Women complain that men are too aggressive with their tongues. And men claim that women don’t open their mouths wide enough.

Two keys to a memorable kiss are pleasing your partner and pleasing yourself. Experts suggest starting with gentle kisses on the neck, move up to the ear, then go to the lips. Take some small breaks and then come back to the lips.

Put your whole body into the kiss. Without words, your lips should say, ‘Baby, there’s more where that came from. Don’t get hung up on what a kiss might lead to. Enjoy it for its own sake. A great kiss is an adventure in itself, not a stepping point to something else.
Steamy make-out sessions usually happen early on in a relationship, or the honeymoon period. But later on, when people are in a long-term relationship, they too often stop kissing and lose that intimate connection. In a Redbook poll, 79% of women said they don’t kiss their husbands nearly as much as they’d like.
You’ve got to keep kissing in the game. The emotional importance of a kiss is where it all begins and you shouldn’t let it go just because you’ve known someone for a long time.
Bottom Line: A kiss is more than a physical union of two pairs of lips touching. It is so much more and conveys an even greater emotion of love, tenderness, and positive feelings to the two people involved. Put kissing back into your relationship. It will make both of you feel good all day long.

This blog was excerpted from WebMD article by By Jennifer Soong in
WebMD Feature